Today, there was a showdown. I think I may have mentioned something about this before... Occasionally in a Kim class there will be a student (usually male but not limited to) who thinks they can get away with "multi-tasking". Think about right before a sumo match when the wrestlers step into the ring and kneel down. They stare at each other with glints in their eyes. Their manner seems to imply, "I will eat you in one bite." and "You are like a small bug that I will crush".
Now you see, I have a really strong negative reaction to these fights as I do not like to see anyone get hurt or embarrassed. I think partly it is a healthy respect for all and partly a small amount of cowardice. Either way, I have a physical reaction to the... uh... situation. This incident today involved a smart remark or two from the student and a piercing silence from Dr. Kim. I was sitting 2 seats away from the girl in question and I was literally cowering. I had wanted to run, I wanted to scream stop it (at the girl) I wanted to cry a little.
Not one student knew how to react. All of a sudden all students were desperately trying to take down a note or re-read the passage that we had been talking about only moments prior. I have never noticed such a studious class, as that moment. It was terrifying.
The moral of this story: Don't be an idiot. Respect your elders.
Last night was a magical night... After two trips to Chipotle and a night walk around Belmar Pond
( and seeing this guy by the pond)
Gracie, Ronna and I went to the library. As it had been closed for a while, we went to a back study room and turned off the lights and shut the locked door behind us. We were sitting there about halfway through a movie when we see a security officer in the window of the study room door. Then the door handle started to shake. "He has spotted us! We're f'ed!" We thought as we froze, expecting the worst.
To our AMAZEMENT, he continued on through the library, not even noticing that there were people in the room. Wow. Fail for him, great success for us!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Here are a few things on my mind:
1. There is a wasps nest in my front door. Not kidding. I kept wondering where the little buggers were coming from... I had to literally sprint from my front door every morning. Now, we ahve put tape over the access holes, yet they are still everywhere. Its a nightmare.
2. I might want to be a Christian councilor.
3. The words of this Sufjan Stevens song have touched my soul. Below are the lyrics. I suggest that you go and listen to the tune. Its absolutely beautiful.
I know you won’t get very far With the back seat driver in the carpetbagger With the dagger heart grabber stuck in your car
And the yard is grown to a hilt And the money spent money spent where it went Embarrassment, embarrassment to pay for the car
And the man who left you for dead He’s the heart grabber back stabber double cheater wife beater You don’t need that man in your life
And you worked yourself to the bone While the people say what they say It’s the neighbors anyway They don’t know what’s good for your life
And I see your head hangs low In the black shadow, half shadow Living room is fitting is sitting room is fit for your crying
Don’t be ashamed—don’t hide in your room For the woman is, woman is the glorious victorious The mother of the heart of the world
Djohariah Djohariah, etc.
And the time you held to the light When water ran water ran with the strange attic And when the walls were wet with your life
And you pushed yourself to the floor And the spirit went where it went Hovering discovering uncovering your life, on the floor
And the walls were wet with your love
For the mother is, the mother is the glorious victorious The mother of the heart of the world
Don’t be ashamed, don’t hide from me now For the woman is the woman is the glorious victorious The mother of the heart of the world
Djohariah Djohariah, etc.
Don’t be ashamed, don’t cry in the bath For it’s the story of, story of, morning glory story It’s the gloriole that comes to your path
There is a time when the lights will arise For the mother is, the mother is the glorious victorious The mother of the heart of the world
Go on! Little sister! Go on! For your world is yours, world is yours All the wilderness of world is yours to enjoy
Go on! Little sister! Go on! Little sister! For your world is yours, world is yours All the wilderness of world is yours
Go on! Little sister! Go on! Little sister! For your world is yours, world is yours All the wilderness of world is yours
Go on! Little sister! Go on! For you’re beautiful, beautiful All the fullness of the world is yours
I've learned something about myself these past few months. I am extremely introverted. It came to a point last weekend where I was invited to go out. The prospect of having to meet a lot of people and be in a large crowd, made me so wary that I just couldn't entertain the thought of going. Why I had to ask myself?
Was it simply that the large crowds remind me of where I came from, the things that I grew up out of? For I used to enjoy large parties and noise and chaos. I think that this is partially why. But I think a deeper reason for it is the way I come into relationships. I was talking to a good friend about being introverted and whatnot, and I realized, that I put all of my heart into making new relationships. This means after I meet you and decide to be friends, I throw myself into it. This means that I get hurt a lot, and is probably not very healthy. It becomes so uncomfortable for me to meet new people because I don't want to risk all to have a new relationship.
This also explains why I get so emotionally damaged when my expectations of what is reciprocated in relationships doesn't match reality. I expect care and love, and hope from the onset. Even though it is not always possible to receive those things in return.
This also makes me think about the church. It is really uncomfortable for me to go to new churches where everyone knows each other. Or even in a church that I go to for a while, its awful having to meet someone new at the greeting time. There seems to be so little care in these interactions. I have heard many accounts of very introverted people walking away from the church because their needs are not met by such an extroverted family. What would it look like to have an introverted church? What would it look like to try to include introversion into our church ceremonies? How could we the body, acknowledge and meet the needs of the introverted Christian populus?
