On Being Introverted

I've learned something about myself these past few months. I am extremely introverted. It came to a point last weekend where I was invited to go out. The prospect of having to meet a lot of people and be in a large crowd, made me so wary that I just couldn't entertain the thought of going. Why I had to ask myself?

Was it simply that the large crowds remind me of where I came from, the things that I grew up out of? For I used to enjoy large parties and noise and chaos. I think that this is partially why. But I think a deeper reason for it is the way I come into relationships. I was talking to a good friend about being introverted and whatnot, and I realized, that I put all of my heart into making new relationships. This means after I meet you and decide to be friends, I throw myself into it. This means that I get hurt a lot, and is probably not very healthy. It becomes so uncomfortable for me to meet new people because I don't want to risk all to have a new relationship.

This also explains why I get so emotionally damaged when my expectations of what is reciprocated in relationships doesn't match reality. I expect care and love, and hope from the onset. Even though it is not always possible to receive those things in return.

This also makes me think about the church. It is really uncomfortable for me to go to new churches where everyone knows each other. Or even in a church that I go to for a while, its awful having to meet someone new at the greeting time. There seems to be so little care in these interactions. I have heard many accounts of very introverted people walking away from the church because their needs are not met by such an extroverted family. What would it look like to have an introverted church? What would it look like to try to include introversion into our church ceremonies? How could we the body, acknowledge and meet the needs of the introverted Christian populus?