Time and Space

Originally posted 12/16/09

Ok, So I have been thinking a lot about this year. Actually while thinking about how fast time has passed by, I had a small crisis. I was all of the sudden all alone in this journey of time and I could see the end of life clearly and felt this overwhelming sense of the finality of time here on earth. It was such a strange vision and idea that I could not bear the weight of it. I couldn't understand how this life ends and the idea of the after was almost frightening. Then in this little breakdown of my understanding of time, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace. I thought to myself, oh yeah, I don't have to worry about this. Its true that my existence is wrapped up in the here and now, physical of this world; however, my existence is no longer bound in death.

I must also relate a very oversimplified version of a dream that I recently had. In short, I was told that I possessed great beauty by an old lady. In response I began to read until I was called to help in a great mission. On this mission, a group of people including myself had to sneak around these WWII German military-esque guards to save a group of people located on a mountain. It was towards the end of the mission, half of my "team" was being held in captivity, and I had been spotted. I was running and dodging the guards and made it to the mountain. I heard a woman say that i needed to be standing on a rock. My response, "I am on a Rock". As I began freeing the captives, I heard, clearly, a verse that has been ringing in my head for a while now.

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10:39

In my thinking about time, it is only natural that I should think about what exactly I am doing here. I have had such a dramatic seeming change of direction, almost every single semester. I haven't been able to tell what exactly the point of all these changes that I have been enjoying. I think slowly I have been understanding why I have been thinking about being a teacher and why I have this remaining love of missions and also why I have still been wanting to remain in youth ministry. I have this nagging feeling that while I would really like to see the culmination of all of these loves, all will not be revealed to me only in the unfolding of time. Which is Ok, because I don't have to fear time. What I do realize though, is that I am meant for the revealing of Christ to people. Many of my dreams and desires in life lead to this and I don't think that there is anything I am more likely. Thats all for now.